The ultimate guide to discovering the perfect change management guru

Are you looking for a keynote speaker on change management to lead your company into the future? 

Here's your foolproof guide to identifying the perfect specimen!

1. The LinkedIn check

- At least 27 buzzwords in the profile description

- "Thought Leader", "Visionary" and "Lateral Thinker" all in one title

- Profile picture optionally with arms crossed or thoughtfully touching chin

- Bonus: A TED Talk on "The Revolution of Revolutionary Revolutions"

2. The necessary qualifications

- At least three certificates as an expert in leadership from online universities that nobody knows about.

- A self-published book with titles like "Change or Die" or "Disruption Is My Middle Name"

- A vague success story about the transformation of an unnamed "global player"

- Extra points for at least one failed start-up attempt (shows resilience!)

Total transformation, man!

3. The Presentation Essentials

- A PowerPoint presentation from 2012 that he has been using unchanged for years.

- At least one Steve Jobs quote per slide

- A complicated matrix that nobody understands, but everyone finds impressive.

- A reference to "agile mindsets" every 2.5 minutes

4. The rhetorical arsenal

"Those who don't move with the times, are swept away by the times."

- "Change is the only constant"

- "Comfort Zone is so 2019"

- Bonus: At least three anecdotes about his sabbatical in a Buddhist monastery

5. The Style Guide

- Sneakers with a suit (shows disruption!)

- Apple Watch (doesn't need to work, just be visible)

- Alternatively: Hoodie with a blazer (for the Steve Jobs effect)

6. Pricing

- The more incomprehensible the fee model, the better

- At least one "exclusive" coaching package for a mere €25,000

- "Transformative Journey" workshops are only available in packs of 5.

- Early bird discount that mysteriously never expires

But beware of this speaker!

Red Flags - Stay away if the candidate:

- He gives concrete examples

- Uses understandable language

- Has already given keynote speeches at well-known companies

- Experience as CEO, Director or at least an executive

- Admits that change can sometimes go wrong

Bonus tip: The more Instagram posts with motivational quotes in front of sunsets, the more qualified the expert! Mindset and all that.

Conclusion

The perfect change management speaker should be as disruptive as a software update and as transformative as a butterfly on speed. Innovation – ta-da! If you're completely bewildered but somehow inspired after the presentation, you've done everything right!

Disclaimer: 

This article was written by a salty change management consultant who refuses to print "Transform or Die" on his business card.

PS: If you find a speaker who actually talks about sustainable change and gives concrete recommendations for action – steer clear. Clearly an amateur.